Saturday, May 03, 2008
The dogs in our lives find us in mysterious ways but they always come along at the right time. Whether it’s a lost one who ends up in your backyard at dinner or one that calls you back after you’ve passed them up at a shelter, they know way before you get there that they are yours and more importantly, that you are theirs.
About a year ago my favorite dog, an Australian Shepherd named Katie, was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer on a routine check up. Though her last visit six months prior had been clean, the cancer had appeared in the interim and when we discovered it, had already won. The last three days of her life were spent with me in my office, with her companions Roxanne and Zack, and sitting quietly on a deck drenched in spring sun that we would never see together again.
I had a business trip at the beginning of the next week that would’ve taken me away for several days. On the night before she died I remember looking at her and saying, “If you are going to go you have to do it now. I cannot be gone when you leave. “ She crawled up on the bed beside me and we drifted off to sleep curled against each other . The next morning she began bleeding from the incision and we both knew it was time. On the way to the hospital she sat in the backseat and had her paw on my hand as if to say, “Don’t worry. I’ll be waiting for you at the door when it’s your time to come home…it won’t be long…it won’t be long.”
I wept openly in my vets office as she and one of her assistants prepared the syringe that would end her suffering and my time with her. I held her in my arms and her face in front of me and looked into each others eyes until hers could look no more. We left each other just like we had found each other..totally in love with one another. I grasped like never before the impact of the poet Emily Dickinson’s words, “Parting is all we know of Heaven and it’s all we need of Hell”
I applied on line to an Aussie Rescue group partly to save one and mainly to ease my own suffering. Two days later I heard from them saying that they had gotten this e-mail from Animal Control in Charlotte about an Australian Shepherd they had available. I opened the file and the minute I looked into her eyes I knew that the file and she had not arrived by accident. I phoned Animal Control at five in the morning from Chicago and was told that she was going to be put down that day because it was the end of her third day and she had heartworms as well. .
My vet, who is really an Angel on temporary duty here, was awakened with a call that morning to intervene and save the dog I had seen. She went over after work and put this dirty, bedraggled, trembling creature into the back of her luxury sedan and brought it back to the hospital where she is Medical Director. A quick examination revealed that she did have a bad case of heartworms, was undernourished, and would need treatment that would require her to be still for two months while the heartworms dissolved. I gave her the name “Julia” after a great friend of mine in Toronto who has taught me more than I can ever recall or repay her for.
Over the next two months I went to see her every day and we began to come to know each other. I would just take her outside in the walking area at my vets and sit on the bench while she lay at my feet. Slowly, ever so slowly, she began to look at me when I talked with her and take the tail that was tucked underneath her legs and bring it out in the open. As the weeks passed the brightness in her eyes so common to dogs of great intelligence and love began to return. Sometimes eyes are all the voice you have. We began to find a language with each other in our looks and our touch.
When I am not traveling with my various business projects I work out of a huge office that occupies one entire floor of our home. My two other dogs, Roxanne and Zack are constant companions there, either curled up in the chairs or sprawled out sleeping and snoring as only Labs can do. Julia took her place with those two except that she insisted on being right at my feet…moving only when I did or on the bathroom breaks for the snoring kids.
Rescues are interesting animals. Like children from the wrong side of the tracks who always looked at a better life from afar, rescues get immediately that they are lucky. They ooze with gratitude and appreciation. They know where they’ve come from and they have no desire to go back. Julia knew that she had avoided the long green mile by the right combination of fate and time and circumstance. She came to know over time that it was me that had saved her.
Over the long hot summer and into the fall of 2007 we grew closer and closer to each other. She slowly became less afraid and less startled of sudden noises and movements. She slept curled up by the bedroom door at night as if to say, “ Go ahead and sleep. I’m watching out for things here.” No matter how hard we tried, she would never just jump up on the bed and join in the furry dog bedtime cuddle that Roxanne and Zack have mastered as an art form
Then one evening as I lay half dozing on the bed, the other dogs on their mats, she came around and jumped up, curling beside me. No big deal. No fanfare. Just jumped up, turned twice, and lay beside me with her back touching my legs and her head beside my feet. Christine came into the room about that time and I motioned for her to stand still. I asked, “ What is THIS about?” Chris smiled and said, “This is just about love”.
The bedtime thing is now ritual. Between the fur and the sloppy kisses, going to sleep with them almost requires a second bath before retiring for the evening. I am never happiest than when I am with the three of them and Christine…all curled up, safe and warm with breathing and hearts all in rhythm with each other. I could swear from moment to moment that Katie is there..
It’s a misstatement to say that we save dogs like Julia. The truth is.... they save us.
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